Cranky Alphabet (2002)

I recently discovered an old laptop with nothing on it but a few short files written by me. 

A is the Alps, where I have never been.
B is the bottle, all out of gin (and I don’t drink gin).
C is crust,
D is dust.
E is everything, going bust.
F is for FUCK, everyone knows.
G is grape, gangrene, gristle, grows.
H is happy (HA! What a joke.)
I is such a stupid vowel I’d just as soon not include it.
J is a joke (now are you happy?).
K is a kick in the pants (“Make it snappy!”).
L is the limp.
M is a migraine.
N is nothing.
O is OVER.
P is a problem.
Q is that question, again and again.
R is a reason to stay out in the rain.
S is the same, always the same.
T is a temper, flaring up.
U is unusual,
V virulent,
W whatever, whatever, whatever.
X  is exclusive (and cross).
Y yearns for yesterday,
Z zeros in.

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